Thursday, May 18, 2017

The Ups & Down of Motherhood

 Outfit Details: Floral Embroidered Maxi Dress//Earrings: Austin//Shoes: Steve Madden//Purse: Gucci Dionysus//Sunglasses: BP


Happy Thursday! I hope everyone had a great Mother's day weekend celebrating especially if you are a mom! I hope you had some extra pampering and some "me" time. I had the best day celebrating with my family. I'm so happy my husband was off today to celebrate with us. He had to work on Mother's day last year so I'm extra thankful and happy this year. We had breakfast at the Draft House in Pacific Beach which is one of our favorite restaurants for breakfast. We also went there for Easter. We love the food and you can't beat the ocean view. Surprisingly, it was not very crowded and we were able to enjoy our breakfast before the rush. After having breakfast we went home and changed and decided to go to Sea World since the weather was gorgeous outside. 

 I wanted to share this gorgeous dress from Chicwish that I bought a year ago and wore on my birthday when we went to Palm Springs last year. I get so many compliments every time I wear the dress. I wore it to my son's performance last week and since everyone loved it on me, I decided to wear it again on Mother's Day because it is so comfy and chic. Since I wanted to go for a boho chic look, I also added these amazing braids by JustBraydz by Chaya. I'm wearing the Five Strand Headband in my hair and I love that the braid blends with my hair and looks super natural. It is also super comfortable to wear. You can read more about these amazing braids here. 

In honor of Mother's Day, I wanted to share something that is very personal to me. I actually wrote this post on Mother's Day and wasn't sure if I was going to share it but I have been seeing motherhood portrayed as something easy, natural and effortless on social media lately that I had to speak up for moms that don't have it all together and the reality of being a mom especially being a mom of more than one child. Being a mother is the hardest job I had ever had. I was a stay at home mom for almost three years with my youngest who is 3 and I stayed home with my oldest son for a year who will be six next month. I can't believe how time flies. I still remember the day I brought them home from the hospital.

Being a mom did not come natural to me and my first born was actually a surprise. No one tells you how drastic your life changes when you become a mom. I always thought being a stay at home was easy. Let me tell you first hand that it is not. You are on the clock twenty four hours a day and seven days a week. My husband also works six days a week so it is extremely hard and we do not get much help since we lived away from my family. There is no manual on what is right or what is wrong.  I had my first born five days before I turned 30. My husband was also not ready which made it extremely hard. I also lived in New Jersey at the time and relocated after getting married. We lived and got married on Maui so it was a huge adjustment. I also did not have any family there and the closet family we had was my mother in law who lived about five hours from us in upstate New York. On top of being a new mom and with no family, my first born was also a very hard baby who never slept. I also had a hard time breast feeding him and had everything from mastitis to being engorged. I ended up feeding him formula which also made me feel like a failure because of all the stigma towards formula and breast milk.It was the worst feeling ever. 

My delivery of my first born also did not go as planned. I had an emergency C-section because I was in labor for 23 hours. I felt like such a failure because he did not come out according to my "birth plan" or what I had planned. He also had jaundice and was in the NICU after birth because of all the drugs that they gave me. I could go on and on about what went wrong. The point of my story is that I have learned that things don't always go as planned and that is OKAY.  Being a mom has made me such a strong person that I never thought I could be. The first year of my son's life was the worst and best experience of my life. I still tear up thinking about it and I wanted to share with you that sometimes social media portrays "motherhood" as something that comes so easy, natural, perfect and beautiful.  I want to tell you that it is absolutely NOT. I think any mom can tell you that life is NOT perfect. One example is my house. It literally looks like a tornado hit it 99% of the time. The dishes are unwashed, laundry not folded and meals are not planned. What I have learned through the years is that is all okay. What is important to me is spending quality time with my children. Seeing them laugh and being there when they fall. Now looking back, I can see how trivial things I used to stress about. 

If you are a new mom, mom to be, or a veteran mom, I want to tell you what a good job you are doing. We all need to hear that because I feel like so much gets unnoticed as mom and we don't expect it since it comes as second nature. More importantly, I've learned to not pass judgment on other moms. It's so easy to say that she's a "bad" mom because she does x, y, and z. You don't know what she has gone through or if she's having a bad day. Maybe she is doing the best that she can. Instead of being negative, we need to uplight each other with positive encouragement, because motherhood is not easy. Together as smart and intellectual women, we need to join together and tell each other what fabulous job we are doing. Because let's face it motherhood is a roller coaster. Sometimes there are good days and some times they are bad. There are some weeks you take day by day or other days you take minute by minute. We are all in this journey together. Being a mom is the most rewarding job and the most challenging. "The days are long, but the years are short." With that said, I hope you were pampered and extra love today. I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day! Thanks for stopping by and allowing me to share my experience as a mom. I hope it helped knowing that we are all in this together and it's okay that's our lives are messy and not perfect, because how fun would life be if it was exactly the same everyday? 


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